


The Beach

by Adi_Beau



Series: Moving On [2]
Category: Kingdom Hearts
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Cheating, M/M, actually they do kinda cheat a little bit, heartbreak ensues, it's not a 'oh and they ended up together and just tried to hide it from sora' story tho
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-29
Updated: 2020-03-29
Packaged: 2021-02-28 19:27:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,334
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23372428
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Adi_Beau/pseuds/Adi_Beau
Summary: Roxas hasn't been able to stop thinking about Riku. He feels conflicted. He knows that Riku belongs with Sora and that the only reason he has any shot with him is because Sora isn't around anymore. But what happens when the only person he can't get his mind off of happens to stop by Twilight Town for a visit? And how can he say no to himself when Riku seems to be okay with it?This is a prequel to The Little Things.
Relationships: Riku/Roxas (Kingdom Hearts), Riku/Sora (Kingdom Hearts)
Series: Moving On [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1681030
Kudos: 5





	The Beach

I’m a bit of an idiot.

I know this. I know it’s stupid to feel things for a guy who’s only concern is getting his boyfriend back. I know it’s a dumb thing to hope that maybe he’ll come around and like you instead, to hope that maybe he’ll see something in you that he didn’t notice before. To think that maybe he’d look into your eyes and realize that your feelings aren’t one-sided... It’s also  _ really  _ selfish.

Maybe I deserve what happened. Maybe this is what I get for trying to betray someone I care about, someone I’d fight to protect given the chance. Maybe I’m just a horrible person, clinging to feelings that probably didn’t even belong to me when they started to exist.

The first time I saw Riku, I was.. Confused. We were enemies, all he was doing was trying to fight against us and use us to get Sora back. And yet… Looking at him made my chest tighten up painfully. It made my throat dry. It made my palms sweat and my breath hitch. I didn’t know what that feeling was at first, so I just ignored it. They weren’t my feelings to have, anyways. They only existed because of some small part of Sora that existed in me. And yet…

I yearned for him anyways.

When I was brought back and I had a chance to see Riku again, those feelings hit me fast, smothering me and surrounding me, crashing down around me like waves that I couldn’t control. It was overwhelming and I didn’t know what to do about it. So, I ignored them. We had a war to fight, anyways. There was no time to sit around and pine for someone who clearly had a lot on his plate.

And when Sora went missing, I did what I could to ignore those feelings. Which was hard to do since my mind always seemed to come back to them at the worst of times. But I knew it was selfish to want to be with someone who had just lost his boyfriend. To want to be with someone who was so in love with my friend. I did what I could to be there for Riku, even though he seemed fine for the most part. Which was… Off-putting.

I don’t know how much the others could see, how well they could read him, but a part of me knew that he wasn’t fine at all. He was worried. He was scared. He was good enough at playing along with everyone, playing around with them on the beach, laughing along to jokes, reassuring everyone that he was fine. That he believed in Sora. That he knew he’d always find a way back.

But that sad look in his eyes when he says it… The way he slowly tries to change the subject, the way his eyes slowly start to glance in other directions, the shuffling of feet, his hands playing around with his gloves nervously, the awkward, fake laughter… I knew he was hurting. And maybe that’s why I convinced myself that I could somehow make it better. Maybe that’s why I told myself that it was okay if he used me. If he looked at me and saw… something. Anything. Even if it was because of who I was and who I reminded him of… I was ready to deal with the consequences later.

So, about seven months after Sora’s disappearance, when Riku decided to pay a visit to Twilight Town, I decided I’d go for it. It went against everything I felt was right. It made me feel horrible afterwards. But I did it anyways, knowing in the back of my mind that things would probably turn out horribly.

\---

“Riku!” I’d called out when I saw him step out of the gummi ship near the clocktower. I was standing on top with Xion, Axel, and Isa sitting around me. I waved at him, grinning. I was excited to see him.

Riku looked up and waved back, smiling. “Hey!” he yelled back.

I quickly made my way down the tower, the others following behind. I ran right up to Riku and hugged him before I could tell myself not to. He froze for a moment before I felt his hands resting on my back. I looked up at him and smiled, he returned it.

“Miss me that much?” he asked.

I nodded. “You should visit more often! What have you been up to?”

“Oh, well…” He looked away with a forced smile. “Not.. much.”

He didn’t wanna talk about it. I decided to drop it. “Well, what brings you here?” I asked, slowly pulling away from him.

“Just wanted to stop by and say hello, I guess.” He shrugged. “Not much to do right now, so…”

“Well, you stopped by at a great time!” Axel chimed in. “We were getting kinda bored anyways.”

Riku nodded. “There anything to do here?”

“Well,” Xion replied. “We could see a movie.”

“Sounds fun.”

And with that, we headed down to a little area in town where they had a projector set up to screen short movies. We bought some snacks on the way and sat down on little wooden benches to watch whatever was playing. Axel and Isa sat next to each other, Xion sitting closer to them. I was sitting next to Riku, unable to really focus on the screen.

I was sitting next to Riku. Riku, the guy I’d been thinking about for months. The person I couldn’t get near without hearing my heart race. I couldn’t help myself. I looked at him any chance I got. I took in every little detail I could. His long eyelashes that fluttered when he closed his eyes. The way his eyes lit up and squinted a little when he was trying not to laugh. The way they closed when he did, the little dimples that came along with it. The way he sometimes moved to brush his hair out of his face… I hadn’t realized I was staring until he turned his attention to me, blinking with a curious look.

“Somethin’ on my face?” he asked.

“O-oh, no, sorry!” I looked away, being shushed by someone in the audience shortly after.

Riku leaned in closer. He was whispering into my ear and I could feel a weird… fluttery feeling in my stomach. “You okay?” he asked. “You’re really red…”

I nodded. “Y-yeah,” I whispered back. “N-never better.”

“... if you say so…” He slowly pulled away, sitting back up and going back to watching the movie.

I knew I shouldn’t have done it. I hadn’t even realized I’d actually gone through with it at first. But then I felt his hand tense up under mine and I knew I’d made a mistake. What was I supposed to do now? Pull away and pretend it didn’t happen? Apologize and pretend it was an accident? Either of those would have made enough sense and yet… I didn’t do any of that. I just left it there.

When Riku’s hand shifted, I thought he was going to pull away. So when he instead turned it to lace our fingers together, I felt like I was going to melt. I was suddenly really warm. My hands were shaking a bit and my palms were starting to sweat, but I didn’t let go. If anything, I squeezed his hand a little as if to make sure this was really happening. He squeezed back and I could practically hear my heart hammering away at my chest.

This was a mistake and I knew it.

I looked over to see him already watching me. We stared into each other’s eyes for a few moments. He slowly looked away, biting at his bottom lip, his eyebrows lifting up slightly. He looked… Worried. I knew why he did. I felt a pang of guilt hit me. I leaned in and whispered.

“Is… Is this too much?” I asked. “I-i should have asked, I’m sorry…”

“...” He hesitated before shaking his head, looking down at our hands. “If it was a no, I would have said so.”

“Are you sure?”

He nodded. “Yeah, I--” he was cut off by another loud “Sssssh!” He sighed. “Let’s… Go somewhere else.”

“O-okay.”

My heart was practically leaping out of my chest at this. I didn’t think this would actually work! Riku was holding  _ my _ hand. He was gazing at  _ me. _ He asked  _ me  _ to leave with him. How could I possibly back out now? How could I even  _ want _ to?

We left and walked around the town. He was still holding my hand. I pulled it back with a small “sorry” before wiping off the obvious sweat that had built up.

“You alright?” He laughed. “We only held hands and you’re sweating buckets.”

“I-i… I’m fine!” I frowned. “I-i just… Don’t know how this works.”

He nodded. “We can take things slow if you want.”

“... Riku, I’ve kinda existed for less than two years, I don’t know what slow  _ is _ .”

Riku laughed again. “Alright, well… Just tell me if it’s too much, then.”

“I can do that.”

There was a part of me that knew that there was something wrong about this. I knew that this was only happening because Sora wasn’t around. And… Doesn’t this count as cheating? Am I a horrible person?

But then Riku offered me his hand and all those thoughts went right out the window. I held onto it, unable to keep from smiling as I gave it another squeeze. This was real. It was happening. This was all I wanted. To hold Riku’s hand and have him gaze at me with those soft, caring eyes. To have him smile at me like he was now.

“Where should we go?” he asked.

“Oh, um…” I looked around us. “There’s the Usual Spot… Or the clocktower, or… the mansion? We can go to the bistro, too… Um…”

“Anywhere’s fine.”

Anywhere. “We could go to the beach.” As soon as I said it, I immediately regretted it. The guy tries to get away from his sandy little island and I tell him I wanna go to a place with sand. Way to go, Roxas, you’re SO smart.

But he nodded. His expression didn’t really change and he didn’t seem bothered by it.

“If that’s where you wanna go,” he replied.

Maybe this would be fine, I thought. So I nodded, already excited. “Yeah! Have you been to this one before?”

He shook his head. “Nah. You have to take a train, right?”

“Right! The rails ride over a big, green ocean!” I was waving my arms around before I quickly stopped myself. “I-it, uh… It’s really… pretty.”

He grinned. “Sounds great. Let’s go.”

And off we went. I paid for the tickets, even though Riku insisted that I didn’t have to. We sat next to each other in a nearly empty train. I leaned into his side, smiling to myself the whole way there.

“The sunset’s really nice,” he noted. “Do you ever get sick of it, though?”

“Whattaya mean?” I asked, looking up at him.

“I dunno… Isn’t the sun always setting here?”

I nodded. “Yeah, but I can go to other worlds if I wanna see somethin’ else.” I looked forward. “This was our favorite place to go to when we were in the Organization… We’d sit on the clocktower and, sometimes we’d just talk for hours, eating ice cream and staring at the sky.”

“Sounds nice…” He put a hand on my head, lightly rubbing it. I leaned into his touch just a little.

Eventually, the train stopped at a small town right next to a beach. I got up, grabbing Riku’s hand and practically dragging him out. “C’mon! There’s so much to do here!”

We spent the whole day together. We went to a gift shop and looked around for a bit. He bought me a little moogle plush and I got him a keychain with little sea salt ice-cream at the end of it. We walked around a while, ate at a nice little restaurant and, eventually, we found ourselves sitting together on the beach. I was leaning into him and he had his arm wrapped around my waist.

If I could make time stand still, I would have stayed in that moment for just a little while longer.

I looked up at Riku to see him staring at the ocean. He seemed to be lost in thought, so I lightly poked his cheek. He looked back at me.

“Something wrong?” I asked.

He shook his head, smiling down at me. “Not at all.”

I just sat there and watched him for a second before deciding that it was now or never. I was gonna seal the deal. Everything had gone so well and I needed to know what a kiss felt like. What it felt like to kiss someone that you were head over heels for. So I leaned in closer, trying not to show that I was an absolute nervous wreck at the idea of actually doing it.

“Roxas…”

I looked into his eyes. “Hm?”

His hand moved to cup my cheek, his thumb gently rubbing little circles into it. “How long have you… felt this way about me?”

“Oh.. uh…” I shrugged. “A while?”

He laughed a little. “A while?”

I nodded. “A… long while.”

He nodded. “You’re kinda shaking. Are you okay?”

“Of course I am! I’m just…”

“Nervous?”

I nodded.

“We can stop if you want to…” he offered.

I shook my head. “I don’t.”

“Then…” He leaned in, his nose lightly brushing against mine. “I can kiss you?”

My face felt like an actual furnace as I quickly nodded, unable to speak.

He pulled me in closer, his hand moving to the back of my neck as he closed his eyes and pressed his lips to mine. I closed my eyes, too, returning the kiss. It was nice. I felt warm and soft and.. like my chest was going to explode. He pulled back after a moment, looking at me with a small smile.

“How was that?” he asked.

“... more, please…”

Another laugh. He nodded, kissing me again. My hands moved to cup his cheeks. He pulled me in even closer, his tongue brushed against my bottom lip. I gasped. He pulled away to watch me for a second before coming back, doing it again and lightly biting on my lip before his tongue made its way into my mouth. I had never experienced anything like this, but it felt… Good. He started to move his tongue and I did my best to keep up, a small noise escaping my lips.

He pulled away again, a smirk on his face as he ran a hand through his hair. It didn’t take a lot of air to do this and yet I felt… breathless. Lightheaded. I was biting my lip.

Riku then put a hand on my chest, gently pushing me onto my back. I watched as he ran his hand down my torso, shivering slightly before I could help it. He kissed me again and I was a lot more eager now, hungry for more as I parted my lips for him and let him take charge. His hands were all over my body, exploring everything he could. My body arched slightly when he pushed a leg in between my thighs and I let out a quiet moan.

He pulled away, looking right at me, eyes half lidded as he whispered into my ear. “You like that, Sora?”

My heart stopped.

“Roxas…” I muttered.

“What?”

“M-my… my name…” I looked away, quickly pushing him off of me. “My name is Roxas!”

All the color seemed to leave his face as he seemed to only now realize what he’d just said.

“Oh shit… Roxas, I… I-i didn’t mean to say, I--”

“Sh-shut up!” I was upset now. Furious, even. How stupid did I have to be to think that for even one second, he saw me as me? When he spent all that time  _ using  _ me just to get Sora back. As if he wouldn’t do it again.

I sat up, rubbing at my eyes as tears started spilling out. “This was… stupid… I-i’m stupid.”

“Roxas, no…” He gently pulled my hands away from my face. “I… That wasn’t okay. I’m sorry…”

I looked up at him, wanting to stay angry. Wanting to hate him right now, but I couldn’t. He looked sad and upset and… lost… Like I was any better. Thinking that these emotions that weren’t even mine to begin with were anything to act on. Thinking that I could get away with trying to take Riku away from someone who didn't even deserve that.

“Roxas,” he said. “I… I didn’t mean to call you that, I just…” He looked down, letting go of my hands. “... I know you’re your own person… I-i know that you’re separate from him… But…”

“I don’t even look like him…”

“Y-you’re right.”

“But I remind you of him.” It wasn’t a question. I didn’t even want an answer. But he nodded anyways.

“Roxas… I… I had a lot of fun here. I enjoyed talking and… listening to you and… I had a fun time, I just… I thought I could move on… that maybe I  _ had _ to and…”

“It’s fine.” I stood up, dusting myself off. “Let’s just… go back… The others are probably wondering where we are and… you’re probably busy trying to look for him anyways.”

“... Right.” He stood up.

The ride back was dead silent. I was sitting as far away as possible. When Axel and the others greeted us, I ran right past them. I couldn’t deal with the questions I knew they were gonna ask. I couldn’t deal with being confronted by them with him by my side. I couldn’t deal with any of it. I ran off to the old mansion and sat alone for what must have been hours.

Eventually, the silence was broken. Another voice called out to me. It was Axel.

“Hey, there you are!” He walked over and sat down next to me. “What’s up, Rox? Why are you so upset?”

“Where’s Riku?”

“...” He frowned. “He left a long time ago. Said he had stuff to take care of and didn’t stick around to even say what happened.”

“Oh…”

He sighed. “What happened, Roxas?”

I hugged the little moogle that Riku got me. I don't know why I continued to hold onto it. It didn't make any sense to. But I held it close to my chest.

“Roxas…”

“I don’t… I don’t wanna talk about it right now.”

“He broke your heart, didn’t he?”

“Is it... that obvious?”

“Well… Yeah. Maybe not to Xion, but… Isa and I figured it out right away.”

I buried my face in the stuffed toy.

“You gonna be okay?”

“I don’t know…”

“You still in love with him?”

I nodded.

He sighed again before pulling me into a tight hug. “It’s gonna be alright, buddy.”

I shook my head.

“I know… It hurts. Believe me, I know.” He rubbed my head. “And nothing I say is gonna fix it, but… I’m here for you. You know that.”

“A-axel…”

“Let it out. It’s okay.”

I let go of the plush and held onto him, crying into his chest. He rubbed my back and said little things like “it’s gonna be okay.” I practically screamed into his chest. I hugged him tighter than I thought I could. I cried until I didn’t have the energy to and I was choking on my own spit. Axel sat me up and patted my back to help. When I was able to calm myself, he stood up and offered me a hand.

“How about we go play video games and eat a lot of ice cream? Would that help?”

I nodded, taking his hand and getting up as he walked me home.

**Author's Note:**

> Me: It's Sora's birthday today, I should write Soriku.
> 
> Me to Me: RikuRokuRikuRokuRikuRokuRikurokurikurokurikuro
> 
> I may have a problem. I do really love this ship though and it's kinda fun to write for, even if it would realistically break Sora's heart.
> 
> Thank you guys so much for reading, though! I hope you enjoyed it!


End file.
